Orgasms! Whether you’re having them regularly or not, there may be a variety of reasons why you’re not having them as frequently as you would like.
This may come as no surprise but women have fewer orgasms than men, especially if they’re heterosexual. A recent survey discovered that 89% of women admit to masturbating compared to 95% of men. However, on average, women only masturbate about 53 times a year. Men, on the other hand, masturbate, 140 times a year.
There is a definite orgasm gap… 95% of heterosexual men orgasm during sex whereas only 65% of women do. Lesbian women orgasm 86% of the time. Why such a difference?
If you’re not getting enough orgasmic pleasure in your life, read on…
Generally, women take longer to reach the point of orgasm. Using various techniques, involving the whole body, rather than just focusing on the clitoris and nipples, can help increase pleasure. Masturbation is a great way to get to know what you like and what gets you going. You can then tell your partner how you like it to increase your chances of getting the orgasm you want. Using lube in foreplay, and masturbation, will help to get the pleasure going even faster.
Get to know her…
The female anatomy seems to be a mystery to many men and women. Taking the time to explore and ask for feedback, without criticism, will help you to know what’s good and what’s not. The female body is quite amazing. While the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, twice as many as the penis, the entire pelvic area of a woman has roughly 15,000 nerve endings. Focusing just on the clitoris will not get you the amazing orgasm you’re after.
Women have twice as many nerve fibres in their skin as men and erotic touch can happen on any part of a woman’s body. Start off with light touch (as light as is enjoyable for her) and then build up if she wants you to. Starting with strong touch makes it difficult to then go to soft touch, as the nerves are already over stimulated.
Don’t try so hard…
Focusing on having an orgasm, whether on your own or with a partner, can chase it away. Oxytocin, the hormone of love, calm and connection, needs certain conditions for it to peak and make you cum. Being able to switch your brain off, relax and enjoy the journey, will help massively. If it’s not happening, stop for a bit and reconnect with yourself and/or your partner. Try something else for a while.
Lack of equality
Put bluntly, women’s orgasms have not been the focus of sex (at least in the west) for centuries. Some people used to believe women couldn’t orgasm without a penis inside them. Female anatomy has been woefully misunderstood with no mention of the clitoris in anatomical diagrams or sex education. Then you have the porn industry, which is geared towards men and how they get their pleasure, giving a very skewed idea of what sex is really about.
If you’re wanting to explore sex and intimacy, and heighten your own pleasure, as well as your partner’s, you will do very well to learn Tantric techniques. There are many books and websites you can find online.
Add a new dimension to your love making and masturbation by using Mumanu Organic Personal Lube. An oil based lube, it’s long lasting and waterproof. Using lube makes it easier for both women and men to orgasm. It’s not safe to use with condoms but for all other sexual antics, it’s the best!